Follow my 7 Year Journey to Life, blogs wherein I am walking accepted and allowed internal patterns that has separated me from who I really am as life, in a process of Self-Honest Self-Forgiveness, as well as external patterns that make out the world system that we are all collectively agreeing on and manifesting, to re-write myself in ways that support self/life.
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Today I stumbled upon yet another fear label in a facebook group about classical music. Someone had posted images of supposedly “funny” album covers from past times. I noticed that the majority of them were quite explicitly sexist in nature and obviously designed by men, for men. One cover featured a nude woman with a cat in her lap with the text “My pussy belongs to daddy”. And some of them were more “subtle” like the cover of a female flutist with the pornographic text “My lips are for blowing”. Obviously the one that posted the images was a man and the laughter chorus that followed was also all male, only interrupted by a woman that dared to question the relevance of the images. Immediately she was attacked and called/labeled a “moralist” and a “moral guardian”. This is one of many labels that serves to instill fear whenever anyone questions the prevailing patterns, as a protection mechanism of the system. Thus, whenever someone attempts to label you – know one thing: they exist within fear of loss. The one that labeled the woman as a “moral guardian” was in fact the guardian of an abusive system. Questioning sexism and objectification has got nothing to do with “moralism”, since morality obviously is conditional and fluctuating in relation to ones cultural programming. Sexism is simply unacceptable because it’s not in line with an Equal, Best for All Life here on earth.
Many of the men that seemingly laughed might actually not have found the images funny at all, but laughed just because of fear of being labeled as “moralist”/”moral guardian”/”prude”/”politically correct”. I sure didn’t laugh, because since walking the Desteni I Process I have developed the courage to not stand for abuse without being directed by the fear of being crucified. If you also want to develop the courage to stand regardless of the system guardians to create a world free from sexism and fear labels and all kinds of abuse and separation, investigate Desteni I Process and Equalmoney.org and walk yourself into a trustworthy human being that stands for and honors All Life as Equal.
Featured Artwork by Matti Freeman
Youtube: www.youtube.com/user/MattiFreeman1 + www.youtube.com/user/eruittam
Blogs: mattifreeman.blogspot.com + matterfreeman.blogspot.com
My book recommendation of the month
When talking about fear, it’s necessary to differentiate between two categories of fear – namely Physical Fear and Mental Fear. You could also call them Substantial Fear and Non-Substantial Fear. The reason I want to make this clear is a few comments I have seen since we started the FEAR WEEK project on youtube and facebook. These comments come from the notion that all fears are “natural” and beneficial and that they derive from a process of evolution and thus shouldn’t be questioned or challenged. They oftentimes come with examples where fear would be beneficial – situations of imminent danger, such as a bear attack or a car being about to hit you. These are however all examples of PHYSICAL fears where it’s COMMON SENSE to physically react, meaning moving your physical body out of harm’s way. The physical fear is thus an in the moment thing and triggered by an actual and physical in the moment event.
The mental fear however would for example be to after a bear attack go into an obsessed/possessed state of constant worrying of being attacked by bears when in a forest or even by looking at a picture of a bear/forest or hearing the word bear/forest. This would be a non-substantial fear of something that isn’t present here in the moment and that rather limits and imprisons us than it benefits us, as well as it many times lead to direct physical harm and abuse of life. And the only way to release oneself from the bondage of and transcend such memory based fears and to stop being directed by mental creations is to specifically dissect and face them with self-honest self-forgiveness and to actually walk the correction into reality.
Investigate Desteni I Process
For more examples of mental/non-substantial fears see:
What made me listen to Desteni was of course first of all the message, but also the bluntness, directness and rawness with which it was delivered – nothing veiled with “beautiful” paraphrases, but the UNDENIABLE reality as it is. And the cardinal point was that Desteni actually provided me with practical common sense solutions to both the internal fuckedness and its external counterpart and reflection as this whole world. Desteni provided me with tools with which I could face myself instead of suppressing what I had become with meditation and “light” and “love”. I had finally access to tools that enabled me to investigate myself and stop myself from existing as a clone of my parents and a slave to my programming. Tools with which I could release myself from the bondage and chains of my past and this conditioned automatisms and transcend all mental creations to become actually self-willed and self-directive. It wasn’t about “personal growth” in the normal sense, “evolving” or adding even more to the fuckedness but rather devolving, peeling off and deprogramming.
In late 2007 I had since a year been caught up in spirituality and was at this point quite frustrated with that nothing was actually changing. The “lingo” within the spiritual community was always covered in the sweetest honey and all that was required to be accepted within the spiritual community was to regurgitate a bunch of empty paraphrases – “namaste dear brother of light” – and if you brought in any “negativity” – such as talking about war, rape, starvation – you would be ostracized by the community. This seemed very “off” to me from the very beginning, but I was far too addicted to the positive feelings I “gained” from my participation with spirituality and new age to put down my foot and say “enough!” so to speak. So I continued to bury my head in the sand until Desteni swept the comfy rug from under my feet with words that I just couldn’t possibly deny or resist. Finding Desteni thus saved me from digging my head deeper into this spiritual mind fuck and pretty quickly I started to see what I was participating in – namely that I was desperately trying to flee from myself and my self-responsibility by creating a spiritual universe where I could justify everything with there being some “higher purpose” for it all – completely disregarding myself as a creator through my acceptances and allowances and disregarding the one and only thing that allowed me to live in “bliss” and “happiness” – MONEY.
Within the raw and unfiltered uncovering of reality as it really is I realized that Desteni wasn’t here to make me feel happy and blissful or good about myself – they weren’t aiming to please me or tell me what I wanted to hear – which furthermore made me realize the absolute credibility of Desteni.
Light, love and bliss was certainly the path of least resistance, but at what cost? If I would have stayed within spirituality I would have continued to justify the abuse with “karma” and “purpose” and I would have continued to pump money into the spiritual industry without ever question myself or the state of this world. As destonians we refrain from sugar coating things, we are brutally and head-on exposing the layers of lies that we have deliberately accepted and allowed both collectively as humanity and individually as the “natural state”. With Self-Honesty and Self-Forgiveness I have been able to investigate specifically how I have created the personality which I used to believe was ‘who I am’ and believed was ‘set in stone’, and deprogram myself from that which hinders and limits me from being Here within and as the physical, all that which separates me from the physical, all that which hinders me to stand up and do what is best for all.
Since walking with Desteni for almost 4 years and having applied the tools I have for instance been able to stop Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, alcohol- and pornography addiction – and push myself beyond my perceived limits just to realize that they’re not real. And I continue to dis-cover who I really am as Life and re-write myself and push myself to walk myself into a trustworthy human being that honors Life.
The validity and the proof of the effectiveness of the tools is right here, shared and researched within thousands of blogs and vlogs by Destonians - and for me the proof is within how I personally have changed and been able to effectively push through perceived limitations of the mind. But by all means prove it to yourself – don’t take my word for it. Self-honesty and self-forgiveness will cost you zero cents and is the greatest gift you can ever give yourself.
I have finally started to paint again after a long time of shilly-shallying and I’m enjoying it quite a lot. I have basically not touched the paint brushes for about one and a half year now. The last time I painted I was within the SRA course in the process of dissecting and investigating the starting point of me painting and how I had come to form the persona as “the artist” and all the definitions I had attached to that whole persona, which affected the whole of me. Instead of painting or drawing as an unconditional physical self-expression in the moment I was trying hard to fit into the idea I had in my mind of how an artist is supposed to be. And when I couldn’t reach the expectations I had set-up for myself to fulfill the definition/idea of “artist”, through participating in comparison with other artists, I went into depression. And this was also part of the idea of how an artist should be – namely self-judgmental and never satisfied with his work, always striving to exceed himself – and if I wasn’t participating in that I wasn’t “a real artist”. And the depression validated the point of “I need to try harder” and so I was in a seemingly never ending cycle.
During my whole upbringing I was surrounded by art, as my grandfather was an artist. Seeing him getting appraisal and admiration in exhibitions and magazines was always very exciting and I used this as a point to validate my own ego with by bragging about my grandfather in school. The first time I remember being really fascinated by art was at an exhibition with monumental paintings when I was about 7 years old. I was completely captivated and amazed by the colors, forms and compositions and sat for hours and just stared. It was here I decided to become an artist myself and I wanted to achieve what I saw in this exhibition. I wanted to achieve the same “greatness” and perfection. When I was about 8 or 9 my elder brother started taking painting lessons and had an exhibition in a hair salon and I remember being quite jealous of him getting all the attention and appreciation. This jealousy possessed me to the point where I actually painted on one of his paintings, to sabotage for my brother. At home we were always encouraged to paint and draw, and the point of comparing my paintings and drawings with his and within that judging myself as less than was quite prominent.
It was after high school that I seriously began painting. I was fed up with school and I did not want to have anything to do with society, so I basically isolated myself from the world in my parent’s garage and started to paint daily. I thought that art as a way out of the system – a way to free myself from education, career, society, norms – I even saw myself above of all that and started to judge people who wasn’t artists, started to see myself as above and “more free” than everyone else. I was reading a lot of artist biographies and started to identify myself with the artists, especially the ones who were the most “misunderstood”, the most miserable – the outsiders and the misfits – and I justified my fear of the society and my self-isolation through these artists. And I saw these artists as geniuses whom I worshiped with great reverence. I began believing that I as an artist was god-sent to “enlighten” humanity and started to form this “dark”, “deep”, “mystical” persona that wasn’t concerned with “worldly matters”. I began living ascetically and even starved myself before painting, as I believed that suffering was an essential part of being a great artist. The geniuses I worshiped I was becoming more and more jealous of as I was in constant comparison with them. I was never satisfied with my work and always chased “the perfect painting”. Sometimes I wanted to quit, but I believed that my grandfather had passed on an important “legacy” to me and that it was my “duty” to maintain the “gift” I had inherited.
At 25 I sold my first painting and saw the money as “validation” and proof of my “worth” as an artist and myself. I got the opportunity to exhibit my art in a busy downtown restaurant and sold more and more paintings. After the “highs” of feeling “accomplished” I went downhill pretty fast and shifted between highs and lows constantly, either loathing my art and myself or loving it/myself. When I wasn’t able to “progress” I sunk in to a state of depression and drank a lot of alcohol.
I became more and more spiteful in my expression and my anger and frustration with myself, which I blamed on “the world”, “the society” and “the system”, was quite overwhelming. I wanted to say “fuck you” with my art and started to embrace the nonsensical. My art transformed from something “esoterical” and “spiritual” to nonsense – yet another polarity – from “higher purpose” to “pointlessness”. I still perceived myself to be “free”, “independent”, “special”, “otherworldly” though and believed that “I can do whatever I want to because I’m an artist”.
After thoroughly and specifically taking this construct apart I no longer had the same urge or desire to paint and I made it quite secondary as there are obviously more relevant points at hand within this reality. Although I’m now painting daily since a couple of days and make sure to stop all comparisons, self-judgments, separation and beliefs – and painting is certainly so much more a physical thing for me now than it was before I had a look at this construct – it’s more like dancing on the canvas with my hands and as such so much more enjoying. I don’t require to be “an artist” to paint – all I require is to be Here physically moving the brush as I breathe, within the realization that I am painting me as who I am in the moment.
Several Swedish news sources have lately reported about a 47 year old Swedish man that has held a number of women incarcerated in the basement of a deserted house where he raped and tortured them. The traditional forensic psychiatric examination that follows on crimes of this kind, explained that the man did not suffer from any serious mental disorder.
This is not the first time that the psychiatric “expertise” declares someone that is obviously mentally unstable and disturbed as mentally “sound” and “healthy”. When one is violating another and get a kick out of seeing another suffer, only considering one’s own personal pleasure, one is obviously disturbed and in serious need of proper rehabilitation. A well-functioning and responsible society based on the principles of equality, dignity and what is best for all would not accept this as ”normal” behavior, as a part of “human nature” and declare such behavior ”healthy”. What does this say this about our society? What does this say about psychiatry? Is this not the ultimate proof that psychiatry is a fake and flawed science?
Worth noting is that it is well known that the man in question has been a major consumer of pornography, in particular sadomasochistic pornography. This is yet another proof that pornography distorts men’s minds and leads to violent crime and abuse. Without pornography we would certainly see far fewer of these kinds of heinous deeds, and within an Equality based society where it is neither possible nor necessary to make profit, pornography would obviously disappear – as the majority involved in the creation of pornography, both producers and actors, are involved due to the need to make money.
Pornography is not a human right. Neither is it something you voluntarily participate in or consume, since you already as a small child were programmed by the sexism in media that is becoming rougher and rougher by time. The normalization of sadism and torture of women in pornography distorts young men and leads them to believe that this is what sex is all about. Combined with this conditioning, violence of this kind is an expression of inhibitions and repressed fantasies and emotions which germinate in an environment where sex is seen as something “forbidden” and “dirty”, and pornography further adds to the secret and hidden fantasies and thoughts that eventually “spill over” and completely possess the individual. Pornography is abuse in every single way, and there is absolutely no room for it in an Equal society.
With the help of Desteni I Process and applying the tools of self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-correction, one is able to investigate oneself how one has specifically formed each mind pattern and stop any form of addiction effectively to walk oneself into a self-responsible being that honors Life. I urge you to visit:
Watch my story of how masturbation from being an unconditional and innocent form of self-expression became an energetic addiction completely enslaving me: